Al's genius plan
by Jampots and Heffalumps
Summary: Albus and his cousins hatch a plan to get Scorpius and Rose together. The title, summary and story aren't mine, but I'm publishing it for weasleyjumper, because her parents and grandparents read her fanfiction and she didn't think they would approve.


**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, not anything. I'm a poor girl in the world of literature? Story for a doll? (Like penny for a guy, only I'm a doll). **

Under normal circumstances, Albus Potter wouldn't be awake at six o'clock in the morning. He had a reputation for not getting up before it was absolutely necessary, and even then he had to be hauled out of his bed, and as his (currently fast asleep and probably having not particularly innocent dreams about a certain Rose Weasley) best friend Scorpius Malfoy would say, once you've lost your reputation, you've lost everything. Albus smirked at his friends sleeping form, if Scorpius only knew what he was doing, getting up early just to plot in peace with a select group of cunning cousins, he wouldn't believe what he was seeing. He reminded himself also that he wasn't really losing his reputation, he had to get up, summer was speeding away and he didn't have ten galleons to lose in the bets he had with various family members concerning the ever flirtatious relationship between Miss. Rosie and Mr. Scorpius. It was rather painful to watch the two of them to dance around each other, as they had been for the best part of a year now, and subtly for a good while before that. In the spirit of friendship and family love (yes, he did realise just how sad it was that he was best friends with his cousin) he had to get them together. He let his self pity out in one sigh and hurried off to meet his partner in crime, Victoire Lupin and a reluctant Hugo.

The weak early morning sun burned Albus' half closed eyes, the ridiculously chirpy birds gave him a headache and he swore if Victoire sighed in that ridiculously soppy way of hers again he would hex her, baby or no baby.

"Vic, shut up before I shut you up!" Hugo growled, obviously thinking along the same lines as Albus. To be honest, he wasn't sure why Hugo was there. He assumed Victoire wanted his impeccable strategy and had used her favourite weapon to get his skills, blackmail. Victoire had dirt on everyone, even the ever perfect Mollies (Molly Weasley junior and senior). Al wasn't sure how she did it, but Vic was a force to be reckoned with.

"I could always just leave you both." Victoire reminded them sweetly. He knew perfectly well that she wouldn't, but it was always a good idea to be as sweet as possible to Victoire, no matter how annoying she could be.

"Aw, come on Victoire, we need you! You're the one who understands all of this, you're the best!" Albus pleaded. She pretended to think for a moment (Merlin that girl needed acting classes) before conjuring a sheet of parchment and a pink quill.

"Alright then, what shall we do?" She started a grin on her perfect features.

"What are you doing?" A girl's voice came from behind the huddled cousins, plotting deviously. Albus gulped as he raised his head. _Please not Rose, please not Rose!_ He thought desperately. He found himself looking up into the faces of his younger cousins, Roxanne and Lucy. Roxie and Lucy were a pair of sweet looking eleven year olds, innocent as can be, upon first meeting. Albus knew them well enough to know better. They were absolutely diabolical, and Albus was pretty sure they'd make some amazing little Snakes in his house at Hogwarts; however that would be the sorting hat's decision, not his.

"Roxie! Luce! What are you doing up?" Albus asked in return, knowing full well they wouldn't take that as an answer. They looked unimpressed but the ghosts of mischievous smiles played at the edges of their lips.

"Are you plotting?" Asked Lucy, her smile widening as she spied the parchment in Victoire's hands.

"Is it about Scorpius and Rose?" Roxanne asked her smile as wide as Lucy's. Without waiting for answers they continued in perfect unison.

"Because we have a plan."

An hour later they had it all planned out. It was a more refined version of Hugo's 'shove them in the broom shed and be done with it'. Then again, pretty much anything was more refined than that. They laid the whole plan out carefully.

**Mission:**___Scorpius and Rose realise their undying and passionate love for one another or at least relieve some of the sexual tension with some __saliva exchanging __kissing._

"There is nothing sexual going on between my sister and Malfoy!" Hugo protested.

"Relax Hughie, Rose and Scor aren't like that, Rose isn't some kind of whore!" Roxie soothed him and she earned some horrified looks from her older cousins, her extensive vocabulary could shock at times. How did she even know what that was?

"Moving swiftly on!"Albus pressed on through the stunned silence.

**Who: **_Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy and Rose Nymphadora Minerva Weasley._

"His parents must hate him!" Albus chuckled, as he did every time his best friend's name was mentioned.

"Rich coming from you, _Albus Severus Potter._" Victoire retorted. 

**Where: **_Broom Shed._

**When: **_After Quidditch._

**How: **_We ask them to put away the brooms whilst everyone else goes down for lunch. Albus then pushes them into the shed and locks it. We wait and watch our genius plan unfold. _

"Oh trust me, I'm not watching!" Hugo exclaimed.

_If things go well, we let them out, if it goes badly we keep them in until Rose tries to murder Scor. Because Scor will be too busy mooning over every sickening detail of Rose. From her 'luscious copper and scarlet curls' to her 'white, white feet'. As he has so eloquently put it in the past._

"Let's put this plan into action!"

It was all running worryingly smoothly, at the Burrow things never ran smoothly. Not only had they managed to secure the game times and lunch time, Rose and Scorpius were flirting more than ever. Victoire whispered in Al's ear as she flew by him,

"You could cut that tension with a knife." Al wiggled his eyebrows.

"Don't give Rosie ideas." He whispered back. As he said this he caught sight of the snitch, he raced for it, only stopping when he felt the walnut that his Auntie Hermione had charmed into a snitch, within his hands. He winked at Roxanne who was closest to him. Now for the final phase of their plot.

Molly Weasley called the hordes of Weasleys, Potters and Lupins in, apart from the gaggle that hid behind the broom shed, and Scorpius and Rose who were clearing up, conveniently. They both reached for the same broom and appeared to jump a foot in the air as their hands touched. Neither of them pulled their hand away. They evidently didn't need much of a hand 'realising'. As they piled the brooms into the shed Albus took a deep breath. He pelted around the corner, knocked the two of them into the shed and slammed the door behind them, locking it quickly. He dashed back to join his other cousins as they peered in through the grubby window. He stifled a laugh as Rose banged on the door, frustrated at the fact her and Scorpius' wands were in her mother and father's bedroom as they were deemed 'irresponsible', after they had blown up a car the summer previously. She sank to the floor in defeat and Scorpius joined her, their hands touching again. For a minute they just stared at each other (Victoire waffled on about gazing, but Albus knew they were having a staring contest). Rose took control, kissing him gently on the mouth. He raised his hands, as though cautioning her before he deepened the kiss; it seemed quite sweet really... Oh, he wasn't cautioning her he was relieving her of her top, and she returned the favour. Their hands roamed over each other's bodies, it was rather sickening, and watching your cousin and best friend try and undress each other, especially as they weren't exactly failing, was just gross.

"Eurgh! That git has his hands on places of my sister I could have lived without seeing!" Hugo groaned. Victoire laughed at this, but even she, who had polluted their minds with trash and codswallop about 'the beauty of love', was looking a little perturbed and turned away. Lucy and Roxanne were clutching their sides and veritably howling with laughter. Only Albus stood, watching in horror, a good twenty minutes after Victoire had bottled.

"Al! You pervert! Stop them or stop looking!" Hugo complained. Albus didn't need telling twice, he bolted round the corner for a second time, only to see Ron Weasley, his uncle and Rose's father, struggling with the lock to the shed where his beloved daughter was being VERY intimate with the son of the man he hated. Albus did the only thing he could think of and threw himself at his uncle.

"Bloody Hell Al!" Ron cursed as he and his nephew lay in a heap. Albus gave him a sheepish grin.

"Sorry Uncle Ron! Listen, as you are far and away my favourite uncle..." Albus' words were interrupted by a thud and a loud moan. Ron's expression darkened.

"Who's in there?" He demanded, banging on the door. When no reply came he tried again.

"I said who's in there?" He demanded again. There was a scuffle and the unmistakeable sound of Rose Weasley's voice.

"Oh shit, Dad!" Al chuckled as he heard them scramble for their clothing.

"Just me and Scor Daddy!" She squeaked. Ron glowered, he looked livid. There was no mistaking what he'd heard. He drew his wand and burst the door open. When he saw his daughter and Scorpius his wand fell to the floor with a noisy clatter. Rose stood, her curly hair mussed up and her t-shirt on inside out. Scorpius stood behind her, struggling with his trouser zip. They both wore Rose's favourite pink lip gloss and expressions that screamed GUILTY! Albus glanced up at his Uncle Ron's expression. His face was contorted in rage and it was an interesting purple hue. Rose looked panicked, Scorpius even more so.

"Daddy, I don't want you to do anything you'll get chucked into Azkaban for, so I'm going to take your wand and get Mum, okay?" Rose spoke in the gentle tone usually reserved for backward children. She picked up her father's wand and tapped her throat.

"Sonorous. Mum? Mummy? I think Daddy might kill Scor and it's quite frightening." Rose called her magically magnified voice evidently terrified. There was a loud crack and Hermione Weasley, Rose's mother appeared. She took in her daughter's dishevelled appearance, her inside out t-shirt, unbuttoned jeans and numerous love bites on both herself and the equally dishevelled Scorpius. Albus groaned a little as he took in the purple marks for the first time.

"Yuck!" He whined childishly, sending Scorpius into mild hysterics before a brief look at Ron stopped any trace of mirth.

"Rose Weasley! What is the meaning of this?" She asked, evidently appalled. Rose shrugged, her initial fear gone.

"Hormones, sexual tension, not having thirty seconds alone with Scor all summer." She replied bluntly. Ron nearly exploded but Hermione just turned to Scorpius.

"Have you got a more detailed account of this?" She enquired coolly. Al groaned, was his Auntie 'Mione seriously asking for details about her daughter's sex life?

"Auntie 'Mione, is it not disturbingly obvious what has happened?" He asked quietly. Hermione stared at her daughter for a few seconds before she clapped a hand to her mouth. She'd worked it out then.

"Oh Merlin, Oh Rosie!" She gasped weakly. Rose just grinned.

"I'm on a par with Merlin? Great!" She joked, trying to relieve the tension. Scorpius smirked at her bad joke. Ron shot him a murderous glare and his face fell. Ron was obviously confused by Rose and Scorpius. They were so weird. Rose was sarcastic and witty, whereas Scorpius was sweet and not at all sarcastic. She laughed at his bad jokes and he got her dirty ones. Rose was a perfect Slytherin and Scorpius had always been a tad on the Hufflepuff side. Ron knew that there was no way Scorpius could pressure or hurt his little girl, it was far more likely to be the other way round.

"Rose maybe it would be best if-"Hermione started gently, however the shock had lifted from Ron and he cut across, bellowing at Rose.

"GET YOUR FERRET BOYFRIEND OUT OF HERE AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU'VE SPLIT UP!" He earned a jinx from Hermione and a smile from Rose.

"Bye bye then Daddy, I'll have my wand back and be off." She skipped down the hill, Scorpius following her like a lost puppy. Albus sighed as he watched the pair disappear, Rose really was something and he was around one hundred galleons richer. And of course the plan had worked, if a little too well.

**A/N: Not written by WerePireGirl, written by weasleyjumper, only my parents and grandparents read my fanfics and Grandma would have a heart attack if she saw this. Love you Riddle!**


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